Boarding schools bring some unexpected challenges and opportunities. I seem to be wading into a number of these, lately...
The end of school today found me hunkered down at my desk in the staff work room, frantically trying to reply to emails and prepare the lessons for tomorrow. A soft knock came at the door and two brave Korean boys whispered, "Can we talk to you?" I knew it was serious when I stepped out in the hallway and they asked if we could find a quiet place to talk.
One of their close friends faces charges of bullying, an offense this school takes particularly seriously. Naturally, they worry for him. Our conversation became one of those aching moments when you wish you could fix everything by turning back the clock a few days, before the trouble began.
What I found enlightening, however, was the urgency that filled their pleading. Words stumbled over each other in the attempt to explain to me what had happened. I could do nothing. I didn't even know the incident had taken place. I have no authority, but these boys kept begging me simply to understand. "Cultures are different," they said. "Every culture has different ideas, different ways, and we don't act the same way here that we do in Korea." It shocked me to learn that one of them has been beaten up three times by groups of older boys who were strangers, simply because he did not bow when he passed them in the street. The other student explained that if a group of older boys thinks even that you are staring at them, they will come beat you and take your money.
A strict age hierarchy exists among the Korean students here, I knew that, but this afternoon I learned that younger students must address the older Koreans by bowing, and using a formal title of "Elder Brother." These two boys seemed genuinely offended that the younger boy who had been beaten refuses to bow to his elders, refuses to use the correct forms of address, and even sometimes swears at older students. One of them said, "I don't mind if he calls me Elder Brother or not, I know we're not in Korea, but at least he should bow when he passes me."
They agreed that the correct response to these cultural offenses should not be violent, but they insisted that nobody had listened when they tried to explain that the beating, while wrong, had not been unprovoked.
This is precisely the sort of situation that tests a multicultural community at its core. Will the values of one culture "win" over the values of another? Should they? How do we protect the safety of all, while at the same time protecting the heritage and traditions of each group? The question of respect for each other becomes incredibly complicated.
I sat quietly at the end and said that I wished I could fix things, but that I have no power or authority in this situation. "That's okay, we know that, but we just wanted to explain our culture to someone who will listen." Made me want to cry.
Sometimes, I feel like we work so hard to tell children how to respect and be kind and lecture them on effort and give them spiritual lessons, that we forget simply to listen: they may have already learned the lesson and be able to teach us a thing or two about bowing to each other.
The end of school today found me hunkered down at my desk in the staff work room, frantically trying to reply to emails and prepare the lessons for tomorrow. A soft knock came at the door and two brave Korean boys whispered, "Can we talk to you?" I knew it was serious when I stepped out in the hallway and they asked if we could find a quiet place to talk.
One of their close friends faces charges of bullying, an offense this school takes particularly seriously. Naturally, they worry for him. Our conversation became one of those aching moments when you wish you could fix everything by turning back the clock a few days, before the trouble began.
What I found enlightening, however, was the urgency that filled their pleading. Words stumbled over each other in the attempt to explain to me what had happened. I could do nothing. I didn't even know the incident had taken place. I have no authority, but these boys kept begging me simply to understand. "Cultures are different," they said. "Every culture has different ideas, different ways, and we don't act the same way here that we do in Korea." It shocked me to learn that one of them has been beaten up three times by groups of older boys who were strangers, simply because he did not bow when he passed them in the street. The other student explained that if a group of older boys thinks even that you are staring at them, they will come beat you and take your money.
A strict age hierarchy exists among the Korean students here, I knew that, but this afternoon I learned that younger students must address the older Koreans by bowing, and using a formal title of "Elder Brother." These two boys seemed genuinely offended that the younger boy who had been beaten refuses to bow to his elders, refuses to use the correct forms of address, and even sometimes swears at older students. One of them said, "I don't mind if he calls me Elder Brother or not, I know we're not in Korea, but at least he should bow when he passes me."
They agreed that the correct response to these cultural offenses should not be violent, but they insisted that nobody had listened when they tried to explain that the beating, while wrong, had not been unprovoked.
This is precisely the sort of situation that tests a multicultural community at its core. Will the values of one culture "win" over the values of another? Should they? How do we protect the safety of all, while at the same time protecting the heritage and traditions of each group? The question of respect for each other becomes incredibly complicated.
I sat quietly at the end and said that I wished I could fix things, but that I have no power or authority in this situation. "That's okay, we know that, but we just wanted to explain our culture to someone who will listen." Made me want to cry.
Sometimes, I feel like we work so hard to tell children how to respect and be kind and lecture them on effort and give them spiritual lessons, that we forget simply to listen: they may have already learned the lesson and be able to teach us a thing or two about bowing to each other.
1 Comments:
I'm appreciate your writing skill.Please keep on working hard.^^
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